I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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