I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
