and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
