how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
