Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
