So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
