I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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