I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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