Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
