look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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