We're like a lot better than the average bears
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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