talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
