i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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