you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
