"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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