I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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