He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
