end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
