I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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