woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
