woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
