But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
