Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
