I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
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