He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
