I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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