no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
