I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
