You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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