Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
