I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just pee around me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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