so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
