Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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