yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
