If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
