Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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