I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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