But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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