Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
