Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
