For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
