what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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