I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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