Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
