Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
