i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
