I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
