to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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