he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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