Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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