we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
