she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
