I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
