I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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