So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize