Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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