so let's talk penis.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
