Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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