The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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