would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
