My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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