i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
